Some Intimate Truths (or something like that…)

June 18, 2008

Oh hell, where were we? Oh yeah, now I remember: Nowhere. And fast. Welcome.

First, some personal news – only because I know you love the personal news. This little blog of mine is on pace to break the 15,000 visitor mark for the month. Yes, month. Not bad considering how lame I’ve been. Thanks to all those folks clicking in and not being too shy to ship me an email with one of those butt-kicking attachments that usually say something like: Give us words. So, words you shall have, mostly because my goddamn back is feeling tight from the use of my not-so-trusty carbon-neutral wood splitter (spare me the comments, Boots).

Speaking of carbon neutral, did you see that the campaigns of both Gaye Symington and Anthony Pollina have sponsored racecars? Give me a break. And Symington actually announced that she’s going to be donating money to those carbon-neutral hucksters out there who’ve convinced the moneyed ninnies that giving them money will somehow absolve them from their energy sins. Priceless. Hey, there’s a load of money in liberal guilt. You’ve just got to market yourself accordingly.

Here, I’ll try: Yo Gaye, you can send your next check to me and I promise to put your name on my carbon-neutral wood splitter. And, in return, you’ll get loads of “satisfaction,” a photo of me and the horse looking very, very appreciative (although the horse may be taking a dump) and a bumper sticker that you can add to your collection that says: “Sucker.” You know where to contact me.

Speaking of visitors (we were, weren’t we?), thanks to the fine folks at CounterPunch for sending loads of traffic. My friend. Jeffrey St. Clair, the co-editor there along with the equally amazing Alexander Cockburn, has always been gracious in their encouragement and willingness to feature my rants over the years. And, with each one, the traffic goes through the roof here – as do the personal comments, which range from “thanks” to “die, you asshole.” Ah, Joseph Pulitzer was right: journalists should have no friends.

But that’s all just a clumsy introduction to say: Buy Jeffrey’s new book, “Born Under a Bad Sky.” It’s St. Clair at his best: articulate, entertaining, illuminating and eye-opening. Or, if you’d rather, here’s what yours truly said about Jeffrey’s work on the back of this very book:

Who else can combine Rachel Carson’s wisdom, I.F. Stone’s erudition and Edward Abbey’s sass?

And I meant it, damn it. Read it.

And while we’re dispensing with the personal news here, let’s take a gander at the news Shay Totten of 7 Daze reported last week about my decision to abandon a campaign for governor. Well, not so fast, my friend. I made the decision based on the news that Gaye Symington was in the race, hoping that that would put an end to the nonsense that Anthony Pollina was going to mount a silly and hypocritical write-in campaign in the Democratic Party’s primary. But then the Pollina campaign dragged two Morrisville sycophants out of the woodwork to announce a few weeks ago that, indeed, they planned to continue the write-in campaign even though Dem/Gaye was in the race. It was clearly a non-story, except, of course, for the fact that the non-story members of the Vermont media made it a story, especially the giggling Kristin Carlson of WCAX, who made it her “top story” even though the “rally” she proclaimed it to be was little more than a few sycophants, Pollina, and his wife. Wow! With rallies like that, we could almost fill a hybrid.

My position as of this writing, which may change as soon as I find myself back in the woodlot in a few minutes, is that if Pollina keeps messing around with trying to despise the Democrats AND mount a write-in campaign in their primary, I will keep my campaign to challenge him in his own Progressive Party primary alive.

As for Shay’s prediction that there’s a run for Congress in my future, well, let’s just say that Shay must be connected with the Bush crowd who like to tap personal phone calls because I’ve been taking more than a few of those calls of late that encourage such a run. And they all go like this: “Welch is a phony. Run against him. Now.” We shall see….

Speaking of the media, I’m wondering when the Vermont media will come to life over the fact that Tony-the-Phony (Pollina, that is) changed his official website’s biography to delete the reference to his proclamation that he “ran” the Vermont Milk Company “until 2008.” For those of us keeping score at home, we know that this company has been tanking of late, has been behind on its payments to its farmers, and has been adrift in a sea of management incompetence. The Pollina response? Deny that he ever ran it. Yep, it’s true, Pollina actually changed his campaign biography after the company’s troubles became public, going from “running it” to just being “on the board.” And the Vermont media’s response: Nothing. Not a peep. On the positive side, I think I’ll take that as a sign for how seriously they’re taking his campaign. But on the negative side, I’ll say this: Shame on you.

Finally, on a sports note, congrats to the little-brat Celtics’ fans for a well-purchased championship. I hope you’re all happy with your high-priced product. Oh wait, I’m a New York Knicks fan. Skip that “high-priced” comment. And, instead, let’s try this: Paul Pierce is a drama-queen underachiever. What? One championship? Big deal, especially since he couldn’t get it done until the big brass brought in his mighty helpers known as Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. Wimp.

The sports world has been making me feel young of late. First, there was the 45-year old Rocco Mediate’s 19-hole overtime challenge to Tiger Woods in the U.S. Open and then the news that the equally 45-year old Jamie Moyer’s great season pitching for the Philadelphia Phillies. Ha! The way I look at it is, you’re not really old until there are no sports heroes around who are older than you are. Thanks, Rocco and Jamie.

Speaking of age and sports, Jimmy Kimmel asked the best question of the political season to John McCain last night in his pre-game show. It was a question about the Rocco Mediate/Tiger Woods battle, with a not-so-veiled reference to McCain’s own battle with Obama. Said Kimmel:

So, who were you rooting for, the old white guy or the young black guy?

Priceless. Or, in the case of McCain’s response: wordless.

I’ve got more. But you’re not worthy. And I’ve got work to do.

Posted by M. Colby | Filed Under blog

Comments

5 Responses to “Some Intimate Truths (or something like that…)”

JD Ryan on June 18th, 2008 5:14 pm

I see all that wood-chopping hasn’t deflated that swollen head of yours. Good.

When you gonna ask Pollina how he feels about Rob “I don\’t know if they\’re racists and frankly don\’t give a damn” Williams getting a once a week slot on Pollina’s old radio show? That’d be a fun one.
M. Colby on June 19th, 2008 8:26 am

JD: I thought you were busy getting ready for that Dem cheerleading camp you’ll be attending this summer. “Go Team, Go! Fight for….(oops, we forgot what we fight for).”

Nice to hear from you again. I think I still owe you something. Oh yeah, a book and a meal. How about a home delivery? I know where you live.
JD Ryan on June 19th, 2008 9:37 am

Jeez, how ’bout some pom-poms or something?
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