Lipstick Dream

May 22, 2008

So I had this dream. No, not that kind of dream. Just a dream. An extended thought, really. And you were in it. Sort of. It went like this: I saw people moving about their days. I saw lip-sticked smiles on everyone – men and children, included. I saw a fragile happiness. There was lots and lots of movement like one of those ant colonies in a plastic container from my youth. People were busy. But it wasn’t really clear what they were busy doing. They were just moving. And smiling with the red smiles of clumsily clad lipstick. It was almost as if they all applied it in a jittery morning haste. Yes, they told themselves, this will do. This will make me look both happy and busy. This is exactly what they needed. It was a coveted win-win for all. Busy and happy. Happy and busy. Repeat it. Feel it. Believe it. Be it. Ah.

Oh yeah. You were in this dream, too. Did I mention that? You were just being you. You refused the lipstick. You told people you weren’t that busy and you weren’t that happy. You were rude. You made them anxious. So they kissed you – one after the other. They reached for your mouth and kissed you with their lip-sticked lips, pressing, holding you close, and hoping you’d understand that they needed you to be happy, too.

You wouldn’t join them. You kissed back with your mind elsewhere. They weren’t sure where you were. You just weren’t there. And you just wouldn’t join the busy-ness and happiness of it all. What has gotten into you? You couldn’t see that they were just trying to help you. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard, they repeated, one kiss after another.

And then I woke up, hurried to make the coffee, put on my makeup and get out the door to the day that awaited me. I’m so sorry you won’t be joining me (again).

Posted by M. Colby | Filed Under blog