Counting Sheep: The VT Dem Primary Edition
August 11, 2010 | 9 Comments
After the snoresville race for Vermont governor between Gaye Symington (Dem) and Jim Douglas (Rep) in 2008, politically-hungry Vermonters thought we’d be getting a good dose of juicy red-meat politics with the news that five – count ‘em, five! – Democrats would slug it out for this year’s primary. Even Team Democrat, that nest of ninnies who can seemingly be led anywhere and hope-hypnotized into believing anything as long as there’s a bogeyman or woman in the room (McCain! Palin! Nader! Boo!), convinced themselves that a five-way was going to be “exciting” and “invigorating!”
Well, we’re now just two weeks away from the primary and…well…welcome back to snoresville – Vermont style. And here’s who to blame for all the boredom:
1). The candidates themselves. Each and every one of them has been nothing but bland. Instead of trying to rise above the hum of boredom, each seems to be trying to out wallflower the other. “You think Doug’s boring,” Peter, Deb, Susan and Matt seemingly call out, “listen to us!” Zzzzzzzz….. “Jobs, blah, children, blah, energy, blah.”
Oh my, please, tell me again how you are all in favor of jobs, children, Mother Earth and the firm belief in all-things-Vermont! Because I can’t get enough. Not.
Instead of being invigorated, the winner of this bore-fest is going to have to have a session or two with the defibrillator. Wake up! Because there’s a right-winger in aw-shucks clothing waiting for you in the general election.
2.) The Media. Let’s face it, the Vermont media has been like deer in headlights when it comes to this race. Overwhelmed by having to cover five people, they’ve apparently decided to not really cover any of them. I’ve heard several of them lament over and over again “how difficult” it is covering five viable candidates. Oh, poor babies….but, if you’d really like to try difficult, try the unemployment line. Please?
Unfortunately, the Vermont media’s “overwhelmed” mood has translated to coverage that is almost exclusively dedicated to press releases and statements from the campaigns. In other words, forget the digging, the muckraking, the probing and the – shock! – investigating. Because none of that is happening on the Vermont media’s watch. Cue 6-year-old whining voice: “We…don’t…have….time.”
This morning, for example, the guest on WDEV’s Mark Johnson Show was Louis Porter of the Vermont Press Bureau (I should also add that the guest host in Mark’s absence was the entirely sleepy Peter Mallory – oh Mark, stop leaving the microphone to that dolt!). Mallory yawned out a couple questions about the governor’s race, to which the equally sleepy Porter snored this bit of (non)wisdom and honesty: “The race has been fairly uneventful. I mean, we’ve been reporting on their press releases and statements and all but…”
Earth to Porter: The race has been sleepy because those covering it have been asleep. And since when did reporters pride themselves on doing little more than regurgitating campaign statements? [Flashback with Porter substituted for Bernstein: “Well, Nixon said he didn’t do it.”]
Mr. Porter: You could at any moment, after all, ask a question or do some digging that could make the race mighty interesting. And, trust me, as one of five reporters in the state, you’ll get your calls returned. How about you try to take a little control of the situation? You know, like asking them questions and probing beyond the boring, same-old, same-old campaign-speak?
If you can’t think of anything, try this: Ask them how they feel about the wars since they are, after all, seeking to become the Commander-in-Chief of the Vermont National Guard, a force that now has over 1500 Vermonters serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Or ask them how, as Democrats, they may disagree with the Obama administration? Or how they disagree with Leahy and Sanders? Or why they support yet another “study” of our health care system when so much of the public is already demanding the answer (read: single payer)? Or how the use and promotion of recreation vehicles (snowmobiles and ATVs) fits into their energy conservation programs? Just saying.
Or, better yet, we-the-voters could start demanding some answers to the questions outside the campaigns’ press releases. Peter Buknatski’s been doing just that over at Green Mountain Daily. Every time one of the Dem candidates posts one of their campaign statements, Buknatski’s been asking them about the wars. The total and complete silence (from the candidates and Team Democrat) should tell us all something: We’re about to be fooled again.
Unless, of course, we’re not. Cue: Alarm clock. Wake up, Vermont.
Snarky Boy Returns: The Vermont Governor’s Race
August 6, 2010 | 6 Comments
I recently checked my very old Snarky Boy email account for the first time in many, many months and actually found some very fine gems lurking amidst the porn and promises from foreign kings and princesses. So, I thought, why not a new feature? And we’ll call it: Ask Snarky Boy. And you will read it. Because we know you are bored silly by the constant diet of pap and nothingness being served to you, dear (Vermont) readers. So, here you go:
Ask Snarky Boy (#1): Yo Snarkmaster, why have you been so silent on the governor’s race in Vermont?
Snarky Boy responds: Well, master of yesteryear, if you took a moment to remove your head from your ass, you’d know that the “snarkmaster” was sentenced to silence by forces beyond my control several years ago. Perhaps we’ll get around to dealing with that later. Or perhaps not. And, as Bush would say, I’ll be the “decider” on that.
As for the current race for governor in Vermont, here’s my thought: fffffaaaaarrrrrtttttt.
First, let’s dispense with the Republican, Brian Dubie. Can you say, “Vermont’s answer to George W. Bush?” I knew you could. Because that’s what Vermont gets with Dubie, a Bush-like gaff-machine who has perfected the art of aw-shucksing his way out of awkward moments of – say – serious policy discussions.
Seriously, though, have you heard Dubie being interviewed lately? Jesus-fucking-Christ, he sounds like a frat-boy who just sniffed up his first lines of coke and then rambles on like he’s found a new streak of genius. Sorry, Dubie, but you’re still the same idiot – just more hyper. Bad combination, for sure. And we don’t give a shit about your pilot’s license.
But Vermonters like Vermonters, even when those Vermonters are as dense as the maples we like to tap. How else can you explain the political success (four terms as lite-guv) of someone like Dubie who is basically a right-wing lunatic (No abortion! No gay marriages! No regulations!)?
There’s only one answer to that: Guffaw. Guffaw. Oh yeah, and have you seen his pilot’s license?
Oh yeah, I guess there are some Democrats running too. Five of them. And the funny thing about that is people thought a five-way primary would make things interesting. Hardly.
The five-way between Markowitz, Racine, Dunne, Shumlin, Bartlett has been little more than snores-ville. The not-so-secret-strategy between them all being: Don’t rock the boat and, instead, get out the votes.
Worse, the sleepy libs that they’re targeting for primary day on August 24th seem totally content with the nothingness of the so-called race. Take, for example, the words of Julie Waters over at the bellwether blog for Democratic sleepiness, Green Mountain Daily: “I’ll vote for the first Dem candidate who does a good job mowing my lawn.”
Oh Julie, it’s always about you isn’t it? Please, post another video of you playing guitar in your living room! Wow. Rock star.
It only gets worse when you try to tune into the “professional” media opinions regarding the Dem primary. Because, when you do, you get heaping helpings of this kind of mental gooeyness:
“Each candidate is really determined to win.” – Kristin Carlson, WCAX
“It’s going to be really close and the person who can get out the votes will win.” – uber commentator Eric Davis, from Middlebury College (Geez, how much are those political science majors paying in tuition there?).
“This race will ultimately be decided on voting day.” – Chris Graff, formerly a media guy who now is a vice-president at National Life because, quite obviously, he was more qualified to hawk life insurance policies than political analysis.
But, such is life in Vermont politics: Boring.
So, to break the spell, here’s Snarky Boy’s quick rundown on each Dem candidate:
Doug Racine: Been there, done that. This sleepy little daddy’s boy had his chance in 2002 when he ran – and lost – against the current incumbent, Jim Douglas. He had his chance and he blew it, mostly because he had no fire in his belly. And let’s face it: He’s got even less fire in his belly now. He’s hoping that his “let’s study health care” bill will fool enough liberals to make them think he’s awake. But, sorry Dougie, those of us with a memory remember that you tried this same trick in the ‘90s. The real question is: What the hell have you been doing since then?
Peter Shumlin: He’s the kind of politician who makes you want to take a shower after talking with him. You know, get the sleaze off and all. Shumlin will tell you what he thinks you want to know. And then he’ll turn to the next person and do the same – without regard to consistency, for sure. And, for some reason, he’s always telling us about how he’s been hunting with his shirt off lately. I guess that’s a commentary on global warming but…whatever. Worse, he’s about as geeky-political as they get but he insists on showing us footage of him on a farm and in a barn. Awkward doesn’t come close to describing it.
Deb Markowitz: Please, what’s up with those bug-eyes during debates? I really thought she’d be the most palatable candidate at the beginning of this process but…no such luck. She’s clearly getting the advice that is all-too-common amongst Dems: Hide your true self and opinions because the people won’t be able to handle it. Well, sorry, Deb, but the people have good bullshit detectors. And holding a press conference to declare that as governor you’ll forgo the gubernatorial lunch allowance to save money is…well.. bullshit.
Matt Dunne: Repeat after Matt: I am NOT too young. I am NOT too young. But, sorry Matt, the more you say it, the more the voters wonder. Dunne, of course, is the state-legislator-turned-Google-exec who now wants to (guess what?) bring the Internet to “every last mile of Vermont’s dirt roads.” Um, can you say, “conflict of interest?” Frankly, I’m getting a little sick and tired of this “universal Internet coverage” nonsense – especially when it’s coming from a former exec of Google, a company that makes no secret of its desires to get people hooked (up) so it can continue to rake in obscene amounts of money. I’ve got a better idea: Why don’t we first start with universal health care before we worry about universal Internet coverage? Everybody now: Fuck Drudge, I need a check-up.
Susan Bartlett: Okay, I get it: You’re a little bit country and a whole lot moderate. Good luck with that – especially in a five-way Democratic primary. Besides, Bartlett blew it on her Vermont Yankee waffling and her rollover and play dead approach to taking on Gov. Douglas when she was the Vermont Senate’s Appropriations Committee Chair. Sorry, much like your cohorts in the Senate — Shumlin and Racine — you had your chance and you dithered while Douglas burned those most in need.
So there you have it. Sorry you asked?
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But let’s keep this rolling. Send your questions for Snarky Boy to: VTSnarkyBoy@yahoo.com
Thanks for playing.
The Kids Are All Right
August 4, 2010 | Leave a Comment
So, last night I took the little lady to a movie – my wife, that is. Yes, wife. I am married to her. That makes me her husband and her, my wife. It’s not really that hard. Well, the identification thing. As for the twenty-plus years of the relationship and the day-to-day, night-to-night, place-to-place, dream-to-reality kind of thing, well, it’s not so easy. Imagine how she feels? But here we are.
The movie? “The Kids Are All Right.” The reason? The reviews and, well, like I said before, we’re married and we go on dates.
Plus, I had four free movie passes. And now I only have two. You do the math.
The freebies were earned by doing volunteer labor for the renovation of Montpelier’s Savoy Theater earlier this year. I had the highly-skilled task of hauling large stones from an unwanted basement wall to the back alley. Load, dump, repeat. That’s what horse loggers are good for, I guess.
The movie was a lot of fun – especially the first half when the lightness and laughs rule the screen. But then, like life (and, ahem, marriage) certain realities set in. Damn. There goes the fun. But it still makes for a fine movie and, ahem (again), marriage.
See it. And enjoy the extra special treat of two (count ‘em!) songs by Deerhoof in the soundtrack. Cool.
If you’re looking for a simple blurb, try this: “The Kids Are All Right” is a smart, funny and sexy flick.” Oh wait, that’s what it said in the Savoy’s window. Whatever.
P.S. Speaking of life, marriage and family, let me offer this important piece of advice: Avoid the subject of politics with your mother-in-law during her annual visit. This is especially important if you take politics seriously. Or if you like a calm household. Or, even, if you like to “win,” because you cannot and will not. Just saying.
/lecture
The Book of Bel
August 3, 2010 | Leave a Comment
In a mere 12 days, I will be the father of a teenager. Yikes – especially when I feel like I’m still a teenager. Emotionally, that is. Whatever.
But it’s true, Bel turns 13 on the 14th. And, being the fine country kid that she is, she’s requested an overnight camping trip with three friends and her parents to celebrate the occasion. Cool. That’s the easy part – Walden Pond, here we come.
The hard part is that she’s counting on the completion and presentation of my “Book of Bel,” a project I started years ago that is basically a leather-bound journal of memories. She caught me writing in it years ago and demanded to know what it was since it was obviously a much different journal book than the cheap black and white “Mead” books she accustomed to seeing me frantically scribble in daily.
I told her it was a journal about my memories with her. And so she grabbed it, just like any seven-year old would do.
“No, no, no,” I told her, “it’s not for you now.”
“When?” she asked.
“When you’re thirteen.”
Sure, thirteen was arbitrary but it felt both long enough away and a semi-appropriate age to read some of the entries. And so it was, we had an agreement.
The good news is the journal is mostly complete. I’ve only got a few more memories and stories to add to the collection and then it will be ready for the presentation to the newly minted teenager.
I didn’t know when I made the “thirteen deal” that it would be, indeed, a true age of demarcation for us. It is, after all, coming at the end of a year in which I homeschooled her and just before she makes the journey to the middle/high school known as U-32. In other words: Big Changes – for both of us.
She’s ready for it. Me? I’m not too sure.
And in case you doubt her readiness and astuteness, consider this early entry from my “Book of Bel (1.7.04)”:
“Daddy,” Isabel asked, “where’s the dictionary?”
“Right here,” I responded, handing her our edition of the American Heritage Dictionary.
She took it and went to her favorite reading chair with it. Sitting down, she began thumbing through it while saying out loud, “d, d, d, d.”
“What are you looking up?” I inquired.
“I’m looking up ‘dad,” she said. “Because I want to find out why you’re so annoying.”
A little while later, with the dictionary tucked back into its place, I asked Isabel what she learned about me in it.
“I learned,” she reported, “that you are annoying because you read too much and you don’t play with me enough.”
Wish me luck.
For a more up-to-date entry, here’s the note I copied into the “Book of Bel” that she gave me for Father’s Day, 2010:
I remember that today is Father’s Day.
I remember the time Mom and I were in the bedroom and saw you fall off Dolly the horse.
I remember how funny you looked and how we laughed.
I remember the time you drove the mower into the Walden Pond.
I remember the time you told Buddy [our dog] to get a sock and he got the one on your foot.
I remember the time you tied the sock to the door while Buddy was pulling it.
I remember the dumbstruck look on your face when the door hit your head.
I remember that you are 57 years old. [Editor’s note: I’m not, she’s always added eleven years to my age to annoy me – imagine that.]
I remember that today is Father’s Day.
Now is the really cheesy part where I say “Happy Father’s Day.”
I love you.
Great kid. Great adventure. The gift that keeps giving, for sure.
On Lipsyte, Wardinski, Bear Pond and More…
August 2, 2010 | 5 Comments
Sam Lipsyte on Teaching Writing: You can help people improve their sensitivity to language, but at a certain point it’s about the ear they’ve always had, even if they’ve never really let it do its work before. And you can’t teach people to be fearless (and sometimes shameless), though you can exhort them to be so.
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Fearlessness. It is, indeed, what is lacking from much of the dreck we’re confronted with in our daily reading. Everyone’s fucking scared. Everyone, it seems, would rather put on their everything’s normal face and then weep when they close the front door. Why? Oh why are we hiding the pain – or the joy, or the anger, or the beauty of it all?
I, for one, am bat-shit confused. And you?
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Oh wait, this just in from the Burlington Free Press: A profile of the candidates for lieutenant governor in Vermont. Better yet – if you get to the end – you’ll see they included Boots Wardinski in the profile.
Taste this bit of fearlessness:
[Wardinski] also would call attention to the need to scale back lifestyles to wean Vermonters from their dependency on foreign oil. “The state could play a role by providing incentives and disincentives,” he said, suggesting a high tax on motorized recreational vehicles such as snowmobiles.
Beautiful.
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But, then again, there’s the news today that Obama declared that “the end to the combat mission in Iraq” is scheduled to meet its deadline at the end of the month. If you’re a non-thinking liberal, you’ll be re-filling your hope-balloons at the news. But if you’re plagued with the need to think deeper than your team’s latest slogan, you’ll read the second paragraph of the story and see that 50,000 troops will remain in Iraq.
Of course, when I think of 50,000 troops occupying a foreign land I think of nothing but peace. Not.
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Speaking of Sam Lipsyte (a few paragraphs ago), pick a copy of his latest book, “The Ask.” I tried to do just that but, unfortunately, my local bookstore, Bear Pond Books, has gone to shit under the new management. I know the rest of you Montpelier-based book lovers are thinking the same thing, too. The problem is that no one is willing to say it. And I will: Bear Pond Books is a sad shadow of its former self.
I remember the good old days when you could go into Bear Pond and browse its packed bookshelves. They could barely stuff another book in the joint. And its employees were steeped in the disease of book reading and book loving. But no more.
Now, you enter Bear Pond and see one shelf after another with the books turned sideways so as to take up space – especially in my favorite fiction and poetry sections. Sad, but true – go see for yourself.
Which brings me back to Sam Lipsyte. He’s certainly no massively obscure writer. Lipsyte’s been the darling of the young-alt-edgy-McSweeney-crowd for years. Better yet – for Lipsyte’s checkbook, his latest book has been positively reviewed by about every mainstream publication, including the New York Times Book Review.
I read an excerpt of Lipsyte’s “The Ask” in my new favorite publication, “n+1”. If you don’t know about it, Google it – and then subscribe. It rocks.
The excerpt had me howling. And so off I went – being the semi-reformed liberal that I am – to my local bookstore. Buy local!
It wasn’t on Bear Pond’s shelves (even though I guarantee it would have been under the previous owners). So I asked. And I got a heaping helping of attitude along with the declaration that they had no plans to order it but I could special order it through them. Yeah right, so I could order it through them, pay an extra ten bucks, wait for their call when it arrives and then drive back to pick it up – hoping, of course, the evil-fucking-meter-lady won’t add another $8 to my trip. Good luck with that.
So Amazon it is. But I tried. My Catholic childhood requires me to say the following: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have gone to the Internet dark side and purchased a book.
And the response from above (if there’s justice): Duh.
But, then again, my Catholic childhood includes the memory of my naked priest standing above me in the middle of the night with nothing but his Rosary beads on. All praise religion. Not.
Very little of this, of course, has anything to do with the genius of Sam Lipsyte, which is a shame. Because he is a fearless writer, not to mention entertaining and the son of New York Times sports writer, Robert Lipsyte. Cool.
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Enough already. I’ve got cucumbers to pick. Way too many fucking cucumbers. And, please, don’t tell me what else I can do with them. Trust me, I’ve tried.
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Class dismissed.
In Praise of WikiLeaks
July 30, 2010 | 4 Comments
The U.S. military brass stepped up to the microphones yesterday to bitch-slap WikiLeaks for its now infamous release of 90,000+ top-secret documents involving the missteps, misdeeds and ill-begotten notions that have fueled the tragic-comedy known as Operation Fuck Shit Up in the Name of Revenge in Afghanistan. Okay, that’s not really the title. But it should be.
First up was Robert Gates, the Bush-league hold-over as the head of the Defense Department (oh baby, feel the “change”), proving once again that there really is no difference in the two parties when it comes to wars, economic hegemony and a near-complete inattention toward anything or anyone that does come bearing boatloads of cash and/or connections.
Here’s what Gates had to say:
“The battlefield consequences of the release of these documents are potentially severe and dangerous for our troops, our allies and Afghan partners, and may well damage our relationships and reputation in that key part of the world. Intelligence sources and methods, as well as military tactics, techniques and procedures, will become known to our adversaries.”
That’s what those of us outside of the mainstream ninniness would call: A whole hunk of bullshit. But let’s take it piece by stinking piece.
First, let’s consider Gates’ concern for things that are “dangerous for our troops.” With all due respect Mr. Republican/Democrat Gates, it is the decision to have the troops in Afghanistan that is making things “dangerous” for them. Otherwise, they’d all be stateside helping us with hurricanes, oil spills and otherwise just shining unused missiles and changing the oil on unnecessary planes, tanks and the like.
Sorry, WikiLeaks didn’t stoke the war flames, whip the country into a flag-waving and magnet-bearing bunch of slobbering revenge seekers, or manipulate intelligence (sic) data to make it all seem like “getting the bastards” would be quick and easy. Yes, indeed, some of us do remember Gates’ first boss, Bush, making the war on Afghanistan and the search and capture of Bin Laden seem like a quick and clean episode of Gunsmoke (“Dead or alive,” baby).
Besides, if keeping the troops out of conditions that are “severe and dangerous,” there’s an obvious solution: Bring them home now. In fact, that’ll even amount to one of those win-win scenarios the politicos like to talk about because it’ll also make the new villain in town, WikiLeaks, obsolete with regards to Afghanistan because…well.. we won’t be there. Na-na-na-na-na.
Gates then attempts to blame WikiLeaks for potentially damaging “our relationships and reputation in that key part of the world.”
It’s okay if you’re finding your head cocked sideways like a confused dog after reading that. Because that means you’ve still got your thinking cap on. Congratulations. But, on the other hand, if you find yourself nodding in agreement like the two-party leaders who contrive this kind of nonsense, well, there is no hope for you. So, write “stupid” on your forehead so we can recognize you in public, do not reproduce, and stay away from sharp objects (you know, like anyone over three-years of age and all).
Earth to Gates (but I know you already know this): The problem with our country’s reputation in “that key part of the world” is because we’ve been fucking carpet bombing it in our effort to “bring the wars to them,” killing hundreds of thousands of its citizens, destroying its infrastructure and environment with little more than a Jethro-like “oops” in response, and – oh yeah — supporting an equally-wrong-headed regime in Israel.
Yeah, that’s it. Or, in other words: It’s NOT WikiLeaks, you dope.
Next up came Admiral Mike Mullen, who was apparently there to provide all the same kinds of nonsense but with a military uniform on while he said. Oh, that’ll show ‘em. Yes, sir, we are stupid and your medals are lovely. Whatever. Drop down and give me 15 years of schooling and don’t come back until you’re not a fucking moron, Admiral Mike.
But here’s what Mullen had to say:
“Mr. Assange [the WikiLeaks’ leader] can say whatever he likes about the greater good he thinks he and his source are doing, but the truth is they might already have on their hands the blood of some young soldier or that of an Afghan family.”
If I was a glass half full kind of a guy, I’d be thrilled to hear a military man like Mullen actually express concern about someone having blood on their hands. But, then again, if I’m a person with a pulse and a mere modicum of knowledge about…um… reality, I’d know that if the subject was “blood on their hands,” I wouldn’t be highlighting it if I was a leader of a military regime that is seemingly hell-bent on being the king-pin of blood letting.
Again, there have been hundreds of thousands of people killed – most being innocent civilians — as a result of the U.S. governments ill-fated, illegal and simply wrong-headed decision to wage wars in both Afghanistan and Iraq BEFORE WikiLeaks said a peep about any of it. So, if I were you, Secretary Gates and Admiral Mullens, I’d probably want to shut the fuck up when it comes to the whole “blood on their hands” stuff.
Besides, blaming WikiLeaks for the mess of Afghanistan is like blaming Woodward and Bernstein for Watergate. It’s just stupid.
But, sadly, there will be many who will play along with the numb-headed tunes of the two-party war machine. They’ll be waving their flags, praising the troops, cheering their “team,” ignoring the facts, and proving, once again, that ignorance is, indeed, bliss.
Thank you, WikiLeaks, for providing the lifeblood of democracy: Information. There can never be enough.
Urgent Memo (re: Who Are You?)
July 29, 2010 | 1 Comment
We have reason to believe you are not being honest with yourself. This concerns us. We are speaking with people who know you better than we apparently know you. In the end, we will all know you better. And, hopefully, you will start being honest with yourself.
Do not forward this message to anyone you know. We will handle that.
Summer Stuff (or, More Than You Deserve)
July 28, 2010 | 9 Comments
The fucking monks invented clocks so they could pray on time. And now the rest of us have to suffer as well. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Bastards.
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Last week, Barre, Vermont held its annual “Heritage Festival,” an event supposedly aimed at festivizing – my word, not yours – all-things related to Barre’s past. I followed the buzz to Barre, passing through the Barre-Montpelier Road and its phalanx of death eateries decked out in the anti-camouflage of neon capitalism.
But then we got to the festival, heritage, that is, only to find it saturated with cotton candy vendors and a giant blow-up jumping gym for the kids.
Oh Barre, I weep for your past. And fear for your future.
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If all the U.S. soldiers are “honorable,” as the politicians like to tell us, that means that the killing of innocent civilians (men, women and children) in Iraq and Afghanistan is an act being committed by “honorable” soldiers.
Think. About. It.
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And while you’re at it, think about this too: Thousands of innocent civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan have been killed by the actions of U.S. soldiers. And hundreds of thousands of innocents have been killed by the war decisions of both President Bush and President Obama.
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/thinking.
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I recently finished reading Ben Hewitt’s book, “The Town That Food Saved,” the story about Hardwick, Vermont and all its new food-based entrepreneurs. It’s a fine read, for sure, and Hewitt is to be commended for willingly wading into the waters of such testy local matters. Sadly, Hewitt and his family lost some friends along the way, a silly sentence for – say what? – bringing things up. But, hey, that’s the Vermont way: Fake it. And when you don’t, prepare to pay the price of locally-raised cold shoulders. Ho-hum.
My family and I pass through Hardwick quite frequently. Recently, while traveling through with my daughter, I told her about Hewitt’s book as she surveyed the town with her twelve-year-old eyes.
“What’s the book called again?” she asked.
“The Town That Food Saved,” I responded.
“I hate to say it,” she added, while eying the heavy-set Hardwickians making their way to the truly popular sites in town (read: the convenience stores), “but the only thing that’s gonna save Hardwick is a treadmill.”
Ah, a chip off the old block.
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Worth repeating:
Unfortunately, however, the Democratic Party has become the Bernie Madoff of politics. It gets unsuspecting individuals to trust it with their money, beliefs and future, and then immediately starts ripping them off.
There was, for example, Barack Obama’s Madoff moment at the liberal Netroots conference in which he admitted their returns had been slow, but it would improve if they would just be patient. In politics, however, what in fiscal fraud would be considered criminal evidence, is simply treated as “reassurance.”
– Sam Smith, The Progressive Review
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Also worth repeating:
Corrupted by wealth and power, your government is like a restaurant with only one dish. They’ve got a set of Republican waiters on one side and a set of Democratic waiters on the other side. But no matter which set of waiters brings you the dish, the legislative grub is all prepared in the same Wall Street kitchen. —Huey Long
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Seriously, though, I’ve got no complaints.
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/laughter.
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On the nightstand: “Mr. Peanut,” by Adam Ross. Wow. Great book. But be careful about having your spouse pick it up – especially when it’s on the nightstand of the marital bedroom. Consider, for example, its first lines:
“When David Pepin first dreamed of killing his wife, he didn’t kill her himself. He dreamed of convenient acts of God.”
Ouch.
But once you get by all the spouse-killing stuff, it quickly gets into – um – more spouse-dying stuff. Better yet, it’s got so much marital angst going on that you’ll actually start feeling like you’re in a fight with your spouse while reading it. Fun stuff!
But, really, it’s a fantastic book. Ross is the new Paul Auster for me. Read it.
P.S. My marriage is fine and happy – even if I am in trouble for skipping her cousin’s wedding in Boston this weekend.
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Hey, someone’s got to watch the garden grow. Pick me! Pick me!
Thank you, peas, onions, carrots, beets, fava beans, cukes, zukes, garlic, kale, chard, basil, potatoes, broccoli, and – soon – corn, tomatoes, edemame, dry beans (Vermont Cranberry!), and peppers.
Ah, summer.
Blast From the Past, Afghanistan Edition (Or: I Told You So)
July 20, 2010 | 6 Comments
[Editor's note: In my ongoing efforts to compile a "Food & Water Reader," I've been digging for old pieces of merit. Today I found this piece that was written on my first blog, "The Daily Curio," in December, 2001. It was also published later in the Food & Water Journal. Interestingly enough, this essay and others like it at the time led to several members of the Food & Water board to resign. "Stick to food issues, Michael." These writings also created a major riff with Vermont's fledgling Progressive Party, who wished to remain silent on the Afghanistan War issue because "it wasn't a Vermont issue." Yikes, try telling that to the family members who are burying their young today. Enjoy. Or, better yet, act up and speak out.]
The U.S. military’s strategy in its war in Afghanistan seems as transparent as it is tragic. Bowing to the pressures to secure “quick victories”-even if it means proclaiming faux victories-the U.S. armed forces are walking into a quagmire of disease, death, and frustration in Afghanistan. And, sadly, the script they’re following is all-too-similar to the Soviet experience in Afghanistan from 1979 to 1989.
While the U.S. political and media elite jump for joy over the relative “ease” with which they’ve forced the Taliban out of Afghanistan’s major cities, military strategists and historians of the Soviet-Afghan War know that taking over the cities has always been the easiest phase of fighting in Afghanistan.
When the Soviet Union launched its assault on Afghanistan on Christmas eve of 1979, a date that was intended to prevent a quick Western response, the Soviet military followed a game plan that looks strikingly similar to today’s U.S. effort. In a document titled “The Soviet War in Afghanistan: History and Harbinger of Future War?,” published by the Foreign Military Studies Office of the U.S. Army, the authors provide these details to the Soviet’s goals in its occupation of Afghanistan:
“[S]tabilizing the country by garrisoning the main routes, major cities, airbases and logistics sites; relieving the Afghan government forces of garrison duties and pushing them into the countryside to battle the resistance; providing logistic, air, artillery and intelligence support to Afghan forces; providing minimum interface between the Soviet occupation forces and the local populace; accepting minimal Soviet casualties; and, strengthening the Afghan forces, so once the resistance was defeated, the Soviet Army could be withdrawn.”
Sound familiar? It should.
Like the giddy atmosphere of military victory emanating from Washington today, the Soviet military brass of the early 1980s thought they, too, were on the road to a swift victory after quickly overtaking the major Afghani cities, airbases, communications centers, and main routes. But, as far as the Afghanistan fighters were concerned, the war was just beginning.
The kind of conventional military air power that both the Soviets and the United States have brought against Afghanistan to initiate occupational force is ready-made for driving less-sophisticated armies out of cities and key logistical sites. But, as the Soviets found out in 1980, the less-sophisticated, guerrilla-style armies of Afghanistan thrive in the rough, mountainous conditions of Afghanistan.
“The Soviet ground invasion force crossed into the county, fought with a few pockets of Afghan military resistance and occupied the main cities while the Soviet government installed their Afghan puppet regime,” the U.S. Army document recounts. “The Soviets expected the resistance to end here, but it had only begun.”
Interestingly, in this 1996 document published well before the United States intended to fight its own war with Afghanistan, the U.S. Army credits the Afghani people for their fierce determination in foiling the military advances of a “superpower.”
“The Afghani’s values, faith and love of freedom enabled them to hold out against a superpower, even though they suffered tremendous casualties in doing so,” the Army reports.
While the Afghani people-both inside and outside the military-appeared to be throwing in the towel to the Soviets, the truth was that they were merely protecting themselves and preparing for a guerrilla-style war that would literally drain the Soviet military of its resources and resolve. When the Soviet military personnel drifted into the mountains for combat missions, they were strategically outmaneuvered by Afghani soldiers who were both more accustomed to the terrain and more hardened to the difficult environment. And when the Soviet soldiers \ tried to police the cities, they were taunted, clandestinely shot at, and even openly attacked by the Afghani people they thought had succumbed to their political conditions.
Perhaps the biggest challenge to the Soviet military, once they had “secured the cities,” was living in the squalid conditions their attacks had only worsened for the impoverished nation. As a result, diseases ran rampant in the Soviet occupational forces, only adding to the harsh physical and psychological strain they were forced to fight under.
According to Lieutenant Colonel Lester Grau and Major William Jorgensen, coauthors of Beaten by the Bugs: The Soviet-Afghan War Experience, published by Military Review (Nov./Dec. 1997), the “Soviet experience in Afghanistan is an example of a modern force which was seriously hampered by disease and poor field sanitation.”
Grau and Jorgensen report that the Soviet propaganda machine liked to report back to the Soviet people how they were building hospitals and orphanages for the Afghani people. But what they didn’t report was that the Soviet soldiers “filled more hospitals and orphanages then they constructed.”
According to Grau and Jorgensen, of the 620,000 Soviets who served in Afghanistan, 469,685 (76 percent) required hospitalization. “Of these,” reports Grau and Jorgensen, “53,753 (11.44 percent) were wounded or injured. Fully 415,932 (88.56 percent) were hospitalized for serious diseases. In other words, 67 percent of those who served in Afghanistan required hospitalization for a serious illness.”
The major diseases that afflicted the Soviets were infectious hepatitis, typhoid fever, plague, malaria, cholera, diphtheria, and pneumonia. The reasons for the high rate of disease among the troops were obvious: a lack of reliable sources for clean drinking water (particularly after the initial bombing of infrastructures); poor sanitation both in the field and at base camps; infestations of disease-carrying organisms, such as lice and rats; stress; and a poor and inconsistent diet.
Although U.S. military and health officials blame the Soviet military for its lack of adequate planning and its uncleanliness, which purportedly caused the high incidence of disease, the truth is that many of these diseases weren’t preventable. There is no vaccine for hepatitis A, for example, which was the top disease encountered by the soldiers.
So if the guerrilla fighting style of the Afghani soldiers didn’t bring the Soviets to their knees, the wide range of bugs and diseases did. And both took a devastating toll on the troops’ morale.
The U.S. military was all too happy in late 1979 to learn its superpower counterpart was embarking on a war with Afghanistan. In fact, former Secretary of State Zbigniew Brzezinski has been widely quoted in recent years remembering the Carter administration’s outright glee over the Soviet invasion. It would be, they correctly hoped and predicted, the “Soviet’s Vietnam.”
But now the United States appears to be sliding down the same path it once gleefully shoved the Soviets down: a dangerous and dirty war with Afghanistan. And, so far, it’s looking very familiar, indeed. The U.S. military has captured the cities and important bases while keeping its own casualties low. The U.S. bombs have rattled the Afghani people into what appears acquiescence. And the U.S. military and political elites are beginning to slap themselves on the back for “a job well done.”
Sadly, as the Soviets know so well, it’s only just begun.
Reality Check, No. 4,389
July 20, 2010 | Leave a Comment
In this political season (in Vermont anyway) it can be easy to begin assuming that everyone is as inane, leaderless, and otherwise as wrong as wrong can be on “the issues.” Let’s face it, we’re in the season of political tripe. Read: Go to sleep, electorate.
Until, that is, you check in with someone like the late, great Ed Abbey. Consider this:
Q: What do you see as being the major environmental problems today?
Abbey: Progress. Development. Growth. Industry. Everything the politicians and the Chamber of Commerce loves, I’m against.
Sure sounds a whole lot better that the nonsense Vermonters are being served up of late.
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