Lipstick, Pit Bulls & Pigs: The Campaign to Nowhere

September 10, 2008 | 7 Comments

Oh boy. This is getting uglier by the hour. The campaign, that is. It seems like just yesterday when the “boys of change,” McCain and Obama, were telling us all that this campaign was going to be different. They were, as you’ll recall from way back in….in…well, August, going to respect one another, focus on the issues and “change” the way political campaigns are conducted. Yeah right.

Oh America, when will you ever learn?

Because the boys of change have shit-canned the issues and the decency faster than either one of them could bend over for their next $10 million in campaign contributions. In fact, the last time they played nice with one another was when they were both bending over for that right-wing religious lunatic who – for some strange reason – got to play the political Godfather and have his toes sucked and his audience pandered to by both of them. And what, exactly, was Obama doing there?

Now the nation is in that self-inflicted torture zone known as campaign season, whereby logic is seemingly forbidden, the issues are apparently off limits and activism is seen as simply impolite to the process – never mind, of course, that the process is masquerading as democracy. Shut up and watch, you fools.

Because it’s now all about pigs, pit bulls, lipstick and – yep – kindergarten sex-education. Thus replacing the war, gas prices, health care, energy policies, the economy and global warming. Fuck it, can’t someone just put lipstick on the planet and bring it into the discussion?

Watching McCain and his Republican overlords toy with Obama and the Dems reminds me of watching Ali employ his famous “rope-a-dope” strategy against his flailing and frustrated opponents. Ali would just cover up, get in the heads of his opponents with a couple quips or cocky dance steps, and then protect himself for as long as he could while his opponents tired themselves out with their wild and mostly off-target barrage. And then Ali would pounce. And, usually, win.

McCain and the Republicans laid low while the Dems danced and pranced through the spring and summer, convincing themselves that Obama could, indeed, part the electoral waters and deliver the White House. But the Dem strategy was out of their same old playbook. You know, the one that says this on every page: Bush sucks.

Well, yeah, Bush does suck. And that’s why so many of us had been pleading with the Dems to use its control of Congress to indict, impeach or, hell, just plain stop him once in a while. No such luck there. And now we know why: Running against Bush is all they’ve got in terms of strategy.

Let’s see, how’s that working for them? Zero-for-two, so far, with each loss feeling a whole hell of a lot like the script that is playing out this year: Intense cockiness followed by anxiety and capped off with dismay.

Instead of learning from their mistakes, the Dems keep flailing and obviously hoping that the third time will be the charm with Bush. Hmm, I guess someone needs to tell them that Bush isn’t running.

And please, tell them quickly. Because I’ve got a hunch that voters out there are seeing through this strategy, mostly because they know that the Dems have had more than enough power in Congress to stop Bush but have failed – or worse, not even tried – in nearly every instance.

Quick, name a Bush nightmare that wasn’t preceded by a gentle goodnight kiss by the Dems. The war? Nope. The Patriot Act? Nope. FISA? Nope. Anti-union and environmental “free” trade agreements? Nope. Soaring deficits? Nope. The Mid-East debacle? Nope. Alito to the Supreme Court? Nope.

No wonder they wouldn’t move on Bush’s impeachment, they were too busy playing his mighty enabler. Well, that and counting on one more campaign against him.

Oh my, fifty-four more days of this shit….

Posted by M. Colby | Filed Under blog, essays & columns